sllwinter2024 — Erika Solberg

Resources for SLL Class on Memoir Writing
Winter/Spring 2024

Newest items posted at the top

Week Six (April 16)

If you want advice about finishing, revising, editing, or publishing, contact me!

Finishing Your Draft

Here are some common obstacles writers face when trying to finish a draft—do any of these sound familiar?

Other priorities get in the way
You have an inner critic who tells you your writing isn’t good enough and no one will want to read it
You want your draft to be absolutely perfect and keep rewriting what you’ve drafted and get overwhelmed
You find reasons why you can’t write yet—you have to do more research, you have to wait until you have more energy, you need a bigger block of time, etc.
Writing is too lonely

Here are some common obstacles specific to drafting a memoir—do any of these sound familiar?

You feel like you don’t have enough info or strong enough memories
You don’t think you have enough to write about
You think your life story is too boring and ordinary
You don’t know what to include or where to start or stop your story
You worry you will hurt others’ feelings
You worry that your memory is not completely accurate

There are possible solutions to all of these issues! Some suggestions:

Give yourself permission to prioritize and schedule your writing time.
Read Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird—one of the best writing guides ever. She tackles the inner critic, perfectionism, and more.
Silence the inner critics by reminding yourself that your story is worth writing if you want to write it and that you will get better at writing by writing.
Set up an accountability group with others who are writing. You can cheer each other on over texts, meet together for writing time, set group goals, etc.
Set up a writing group with others who are writing: not only hold yourselves accountable, but share your work so writing doesn’t feel so lonely.
Give yourself a self-imposed deadline/goal, such as giving the memoir as a gift for someone’s birthday or graduation.
Take another workshop or class, in person on online
Work with a book coach.
Read memoirs and books on writing memoir to inspire you (see below)
Tell people what you’re doing and ask them to cheer you on—they will also likely tell you they can’t wait to read it!
Remind yourself you are only DRAFTING—you will revise later and improve your work, so you don’t need to get it all “right” the first time
Remind yourself that even if no one ever reads your draft, YOU will learn about yourself by writing it.
If you need to research a certain memory, find a better word, check a fact, etc. don’t stop writing: just make a note or write XXXXXX and keep going. You can fill in the gaps later.
If you don’t have enough time to write or to develop your skills to the level you desire, hire a ghostwriter.

How to Revise

When you have finished a full draft, the next step is to revise. Revision is about big-picture issues like improving the structure, developing your theme, cutting irrelevant sections, etc.

Step One: Set it aside. The longer the draft, the more time you should leave it alone so you can come to it with fresh eyes.

Step Two: Get targeted feedback. Ask someone to read the draft and critique it, but make sure you tell them what kind of feedback you want. You can also hire an editor to work with you.

Step Three: Read it all the way through WITHOUT making any changes.

Step Four: Revise in a series of passes where you target different issues, one at a time. For all of these, remember who your audience is. For example you may look at

structure
characterization
voice
precision
etc.

Step Five: Repeat all these steps until you are satisfied. Be patient and trust the creative process!

How To Edit

When you are done revising, the next step is editing. Editing is about small-picture issues like tightening sentences, focusing paragraphs, finding a better word, etc.

Step One: Set it aside. The longer the draft, the more time you should leave it alone so you can come to it with fresh eyes.

Step Two: Get targeted feedback. Ask someone to read the draft and mark any editing issues. You can also hire an editor (like me!) to work with you.

Step Three: Read it all the way through WITHOUT making any changes.

Step Four: Revise in a series of passes where you target different issues, one at a time. For all of these, remember who your audience is. For example you may look at

transitions
clarifying sentences
reducing repetition of certain words
reducing passive voice
etc.

Step Five: Repeat all these steps until you are satisfied. Be patient and trust the creative process!

Publishing

If your audience is friends and family: lowest cost. Options include

Website
print-out (packet)
digital file
self-publish, but at low end

If your audience is beyond friends and family: higher cost. Options include

Self-publish: you do all the work and they provide the platform
Hybrid: they do some of the production and/or marketing work as well as provide the platform
Indie (small) publisher: you submit your manuscript to them; they decide whether or not they want to publish you.
Traditional publisher: you submit your manuscript to a literary agent; they decide whether or not they want to publish you. They then submit your manuscript to traditional publishers and they decide whether or not they want to publish you.

Notes on working with self-publishing and hybrid companies:

More work by them = higher cost to you
Higher quality book = higher cost to you
Set a budget and do your research
Plan to work hard to market and sell your book if that’s a priority, no matter how you publish

Notes on working with an indie publisher or agent/traditional publisher:

You will likely want to work with a freelance editor first to get you book in its best shape
You may want to work with a professional to help you write a book proposal and query letter
Plan to work hard to market and sell your book even with a traditional publisher

For more on publishing options, see this chart: https://janefriedman.com/key-book-publishing-path/

Week Five (April 9)

Structuring your memoir

Whatever length your memoir is, you will need to think about how to structure.

Form is tied to function and vice versa. How you tell the story depends on what story you are telling, and what story you tell depends on the form you use.

There are many ways to structure a memoir. Here are some models:

1) Most common is Plot: (may overlap with Chronological) You structure the material like a fictional story. Possibilities include

Aristotelian plot structure: conflict, rising action/complication, climax (point of highest tension), resolution, falling action
Hero’s Journey: protagonist has a goal and quests to achieve it with growth along the way
One of Kurt Vonnegut’s six story archetypes such as “Rise Then Fall Then Rise, or ‘Cinderella’”
“The Virgin’s Promise”: the protagonist finds her own power, breaks with tradition, and brings her community with her into a new way of living. (See Melanie Marttila)
Many more possibilities out there! Google “alternative plot structures” or start with scribophile.com/academy/what-are-story-archetypes.

2) Another common structure is chronological (may overlap with Plot): You structure the material by where it occurs in time. The most common options here are

Linear: start at the oldest event and end with the most recent
Modified linear: using various techniques such as time compression (cover a long period of time quickly), time stretching (slowly cover a short period of time), flashbacks, and flash forwards, you always give the reader a sense of where they are chronologically but guide them through using a rationale that isn’t JUST “start at the oldest event and finish at the most recent event.”

3) Another option is Argument: You structure the material like an argument (but it’s still a memoir). It woudl go something like this:

Intro with your thesis
Main point one with supporting material
Main point two with supporting material
Main point three with supporting material
Main point four with supporting material
Etc.
Conclusion with a complication of the thesis

4) Or Episodic: the material is broken up rather than uniformly connected

Thematic: Break the story into multiple pieces that are organized by topic; topical sections are not explicitly connected (a “memoir in essays” is currently popular)
Vignette: Break the material into multiple pieces that are not explicitly connected—this is the most non-structured form
Collage: Combine different modalities, forms, sources, and techniques

5) Conceptual: You structure the material according to an external form of some kind. You could use anything, such as body parts (i.e., a chapter related to eyes, a chapter related to knees, etc.) or months in the calendar (i.e., a chapter based in January 1965, a chapter based in February 1988, etc.) Some examples:

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love is organized into three units of 36, matching the number of beads in a japa mala, a string of prayer beads used during meditation.
Bono’s memoir, Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story, is organized around different U2 songs
Azar Nafisi’s Reading Lolita in Tehran is organized around books/authors (Lolita, Gatsby, James, Austen)
Primo Levi’s The Periodic Table, organized around elements

6) Or Memoir Hybrid: (also called Memoir+) You structure the material with another, related topic, such as

A cookbook
An explanation of a scientific concept
A how-to of some kind
A travelogue
A history of a place or people or important time

Whatever you choose, one good rule to follow (though all writing rules are made to be broken) is to make sure
the YOU you’re writing about undergoes a CHANGE.

It can be big or subtle or internal or external, but it must be clear and notable/valuable to YOU and thus will be notable/valuable to your reader.

Outlining

You want to use the work you have done on topic, audience, and theme—these will guide you on what to include and when to include it. (Outlining may also lead you to changing your topic, audience, and/or theme)

The outline can be in any FORM that works for you (such as listing bullet points; a formal outline structure with I, II, III, A, B, C, etc.; or writing ideas on notecards and organizing them).

It can be as detailed or not detailed as you need it to be.

The two things it MUST incorporate:

What material you want to include in your memoir

The order in which you want the reader to read the material

Your outline does not have to be in the order in which you will write it.

You may end up revising your outline later, and that’s okay.

Exercise

1) Since you want the YOU in your memoir to change over the course of the story, think of a turning point in the part of your life you are covering in your memoir. It might have been obvious at the time or something you didn't notice until later when you looked back on your life. It could have been a major or minor turning point, but something started to change from then on.

2) Think of a scene from this turning point and describe it to us. Focus on a short period of time that you can develop over a few paragraphs

3) Show us this memory as vividly as you can. Consider doing some of the following:

Use precise language (sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, proper nouns)
Include some effective characterization of the people in the memory
Use your Voice of Innocence (the you that you were then), your Voice of Experience (the you that you are now), or a combination of both

Optional Homework

1) Submit work for critique and do a critique of your partners’ work. (See my email from Wednesday).

2) Write on one of the following topics (or come up with one of your own!)

A) What’s an invention that appeared during your lifetime that has been significant to you? Describe in a scene one of the first times you first encountered it. Describe what you did, said, thought, and felt.

B) Relate a family tradition. Describe how it usually took place and a specific time it took place—perhaps the first, final, or most memorable. Use lots of specific details!

C) Describe a time you were an outsider, maybe because you were from a different place, were of a different race or class or gender than everyone else, were an innocent or newbie among a group of experienced people, were the only one who didn’t know something, etc. Show us where you were and what everyone did. Use your past-self POV and your present-self POV.

D) Write a scene where you gave or received a memorable gift. Use precision, effective characterization, and only ONE pov (past self or present self).

E) Give us a time you escaped danger, though perhaps not entirely unharmed. The danger could be physical, financial, emotional, or any other kind. Try to use lots of strong verbs and include some direct dialogue. Consider only using your past self’s pov, so you’re telling the story from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know whether or not they will survive.

Week Four (April 2)

Purpose

Why are you writing THIS memoir?

Why NOW?

Knowing your purpose can help you stay motivated, decide what to write about, and decide what not to write about.

Focus

A memoir is the story of PART of your life, so what part(s) of your life do you want to write about?

Some writers know immediately what they want to focus on, and some writers need to do some drafting before they find their focus.

Audience

Say you are making (or ordering) a meal—and that your cooking ability and finances are irrelevant. Would you serve the same meal for a bunch of teenagers as for a group of sophisticated gourmets as for you and your best friend?

Just as who is eating the meal depends on what you will serve, so what you write will depend on who you see as your readers.

As you draft, you want to write for your imagined Ideal Reader. Having a defined audience in mind will make your writing more effective. This doesn’t mean ONLY your Ideal Reader want to read your memoir, however, because effective writing will make your memoir appealing to many people.

You may have an actual person in mind as you write or you may imagine a certain specific type of person.

Exercise on Purpose, Focus, and Audience

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder.

Purpose Questions

1) Why do you want to write your memoir? Here are some possibilities, or you may have another answer.

To entertain your readers
To explain to your readers—how something worked, what something was like, why it happened the way it did, etc.
To leave a record for your readers
To set the record straight for your readers
To reveal a truth to your readers
To reveal a truth to yourself
To figure something out for yourself

2) Why do you want to write it now?

Focus Questions

1) Some memoirs focus on a certain age. Childhood is popular, but you can write about any stretch of years you want, such as adolescence, the year you turned 30, middle age, retirement, etc. List any age ranges you’d like to write about.

2) Some memoirs focus on a significant period in the writer’s life. You could write about your time in the Navy, the three months you lived in Costa Rica, when you worked as a clown, your treatment for cancer, the first year of your marriage, etc. List any significant periods in your life you’d like to write about.

3) Some memoirs focus on the writer’s relationship with a specific person, such as their mother, a student they taught, their best friend, their business partner, etc. List any relationships you’d like to write about.

4) Some memoirs focus on a specific topic and build their story around it. These topics could be anything from addiction, food, and music to education, prejudice, or animals. List any topics you’d like to base your memoir around.

5) Memoirs work well when they focus on how the narrator changed over a period of time. Maybe they began weak and became strong, began innocent and became experienced, began as a pessimist and became an optimist (or vice-versa), or began feeling like a failure and became confident or successful. List any changes in yourself you’d like to write about.

6) Look over your list and select the focus that most appeal to you right now.

Audience Questions

1) Are you writing your memoir solely for family and close friends?

If so, describe specifically who these people are and their relationship to you.
Of these people, who is your SINGLE Ideal Reader (the reader who would be most interested, who would learn the most, and who would want to talk about your book with other people)?

2) Are you writing your memoir for a wider audience?

If so, think about your Ideal Reader—the reader who would be most interested, who would learn the most, and who would want to talk about your book with other people. Describe this ideal reader’s demographics, such as retired military men, low-income mothers of young children, fans of horror movies, residents of California, etc. Be as specific as you can.

3) What does your Ideal Reader care about (list as many things as you can)?

4) What does your Ideal Reader NOT care about (list as many things as you can)?

5) Now tell us what you think your Ideal Reader would MOST get out of reading your memoir. It can be anything related to what you want to write —to learn, to be inspired, to be entertained. Pick just ONE.

Theme

The theme is the main Big Idea that you want to get across in your memoir. It is not the focus/topic of the memoir but what you say ABOUT that topic/focus.

Defining your theme can give you a destination as you draft: it tells you where you want your memoir to go. You may revise and refine your theme as you continue to draft your project, but it will be helpful to have a preliminary idea now.

A theme is a complete thought—a complete sentence, not a phrase. For example, “love” is not a theme, but “Love never lasts” is a theme. “My time as an astronaut” is not a theme, but “My time as an astronaut taught me that we are all connected” is a theme.

Coming up with a theme is hard! Here are some different ways to think about your theme:

You can think about it as a literary theme: a unifying statement about all the elements in the text.

You can think about it as the core point/the hub of the wagon wheel. All spokes in the story connect back to it, and they work together to propel the memoir forward.

You can think about it as the spine of the memoir’s skeleton/the trunk of the memoir’s tree/the memoir’s through line. All the ideas in the memoir build out from it.

You can think about it as the central revelation that changes you. Everything in the memoir either causes that revelation or is affected by that revelation.

You can think about it as the thesis of your argument: what your story proves. The writer and teacher Marion Roach Smith has designed this formula: My memoir is about X [the thesis/theme] as illustrated by Y [the events in your life you write about.

Here are some examples of themes for Goldilocks’ memoir:

You have to determine what makes you happy before you can be a true friend to others.
Surviving a deadly encounter comes down to preparation, imagination, and desperation.
Never settle for the mediocre when perfection is within reach.
The generosity of my friends the Bears made me the confident woman I am today
Life is best lived in the middle, not at the extremes.

Here is an example of Goldilocks using the Roach method for her theme:

My memoir is about how life is best lived in the middle, not at the extremes, as illustrated by my adventures visiting the house of the three bears.

Exercise on Theme

What is the theme of your memoir?

Boil it down to one sentence—a complete thought—an independent clause.

Try out a few ideas before settling on one.

Remember:

“Friendship” = a topic.

“The different friendships I’ve had over the years” = a topic

“Good friends are hard to find but provide the real value in life” = a theme

Optional Homework for Next Time (April 9)

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder.

1) Read the short excerpt I emailed to you. We will use it as a model when we talk about and practice critiquing in class.

2) Write! Pick a section or two that you know you want to include in your memoir and write a draft.

Week Three

Point of View (POV)

POV is the angle from which a story (memoir) is told. It answers these questions:

Is the narrator a character in a story?
Whose head(s) can the narrator get inside?
How much does the narrator know about the story?
How much emotional and temporal distance does the narrator have on the story?

In memoir, the answers to the first two questions are easy: It's your story, so a character in it. Yours is the only head you can really get inside. Thus, you will use FIRST-PERSON POV.

Even when you write about an event you didn't witness, the narrator is still YOU:

My mother, Marcia Gallagher, was sitting on the beach with a peeling sunburn the day she met my father, Paul Solberg.

But the answers to those other two questions are more complicated. You’ll still be using first-person, but how much the you (the narrator) knows about the story and how much emotional and temporal distance you (the narrator) has on the events can vary from memoir to memoir, from section to section in the memoir, and even within a section.

Narrator’s distance from the event =

the effects of time
self-knowledge
emotional perspective.
authorial decision (how close or distant do you want the narration to be from the event? We know that the author is in the present writing about past events, but sometimes the narrator erases that distance and tries to get as close up to the original events as possible—tries to adopt the mindset of that past self.)

Thus memoir can use a range of distances within that first-person point of view. You can create a contrast between those differences. You can create energy from moving back and forth.

In “On the Necessity of Turning Oneself into a Character” from To Show and To Tell: The Craft of Literary Nonfiction (2013), Phillip Lopate says that memoir requires a “double perspective” that “allow[s] the reader to participate vicariously in the experience as it was lived (the child's confusions and misapprehensions, say), while benefiting from the sophisticated wisdom of the author’s adult self.”

Consciously using a range of distances in your memoir can help you establish credibility and engage your reader: the adult/present self can comment on the fuzziness of a younger self’s memory, for instance. Authenticity comes from the inclusion of multiple POVs because our POV changes over the course of our lives.

In Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir (2009), Sue Silverman calls the two basic POVs the Voice of Innocence and Voice of Experience (inspired by William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience).

The Voice of Innocence is the POV of your past self:

it tells us what happened
It is the voice of who you were then
it can vividly capture important moments

The Voice of Experience is the POV of your present self:

it interprets and reflects
it is who you are now,
shows what you learned or at least what your thoughts are now about then

These POVs will work together. You may not always be aware what POV you are using when you draft, but when you look over your draft and revise, you should consider if you’re using the most effective POV.

Exercise on POV

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder

Think of a short scene from your memoir that takes place when you were a teenager.
If you need an idea, try one of these:

A time you were outraged
A time you were working at a new job
A time you were irresponsible
A great accomplishment
A scene from a romance

PART ONE: Relate this scene using the point of view of your present self.

Use past tense (“I walked into the dining hall and didn't know where to sit.”)
Use all your present knowledge and perspective about what happened then and how you feel about it now. Think about how that past self is different from your present self.
Include some reflection and interpretation of the event: what do you think and feel about the event now?
Also try to

Use precision (sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, names)
Use effective characterization for any people in the scene (basic background, describe their outsides, describe their insides)

PART TWO: Relate the SAME scene using the point of view of your past self

Use present tense to help you get in the mindspace of your past self (“I walk into the dining hall and don’t know where to sit.”)
Don’t use any of your current knowledge or perspective—limit yourself to only what you knew then.
Stay in the head of that past self—what was important to you then? What kinds of things did you do and think?
Also try to

Use precision (sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, names)
Use effective characterization for any people in the scene (basic background, describe their outsides, describe their insides)

What is voice?

It is the sound of the story, the personality speaking. It overlaps with POV and Style.

If you copy this image and paste it into a Word document, it will be big enough to read.

Voice: A persona you can trust

You create the voice but the voice is not exactly you because there’s a difference between reality and the page.

In The Situation and the Story (2001), Vivian Gornick writes:

“Out of the raw material of a writer’s own … being a narrator is fashioned …. This narrator becomes a persona. Its tone of voice, its angle of vision, the rhythm of its sentences, what it selects to observe and what to ignore are chosen to serve the subject; yet at the same time the way the … persona … sees things is, to the largest degree, the thing being seen.”

In “On the Necessity of Turning Oneself into a Character” from To Show and To Tell: The Craft of Literary Nonfiction (2013), Phillip Lopate says the voice must be willing to reveal:

“What's needed is the emotional preparedness and the generosity, if you will, to be honest and open to exposure.”

In “The Return: The Art of Confession” from Body Work (2022) Melissa Febos says an authentic voice requires self-knowledge:

“Self-knowledge, the insights available in the past and acquired in the time since, are what gives memoir its depth. It is not experience that qualifies a person to write a memoir, but insight into experience, and the ability to tell a story of the past that contains both dimensions.”

Readers will hear when your voice is hiding things—is unaware, insincere, inauthentic.

Readers want authority, believability, revelation, struggle and discovery.

Like any character, you/yourvoice will be complex: variation AND consistency.

Exercise on Voice

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder

Since voice is affected by your audience, try telling a story to different people.

Think of a short scene from your memoir that takes places when you were in your twenties.
If you need an idea, try one of these:

A time you were outraged
A time you were working at a new job
A time you were irresponsible
A great accomplishment
A scene from a romance

Narrate three lines from the scene as if you were telling it to a best friend (from any time in your life).
Now switch and narrate three more lines from the scene as if you were telling it to a judge in court.
Now switch and narrate three more lines from the scene as if you were telling it to an eleven-year-old child you know well.

Optional Homework for Next Time

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder

HOMEWORK A: More on POV and Voice

This exercise is like the one we did in class, only reversed and with a few other twists.

Think of a short scene from your memoir that takes place when you were a under the age of thirteen.
If you need an idea, try one of these:

A time you were astonished
A time in school not related to learning
A time you were very responsible
A magical time
A scene from a friendship

PART ONE: Relate this scene using the point of view of your PAST self (the Voice of Innocence):

Use present tense to help you get in the mindspace of your younger self (“I walk into the dining hall and don’t know where to sit.”)
Don’t use any of your current knowledge or perspective—limit yourself to only what you knew then.
Stay in the head of that past self—what was important to you then? What kinds of things did you do and think?
Children often experience life through their senses—try to capture some of that.
Use some words that would be used by that past self.
Also try to

Use precision (sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, names)
Use effective characterization for any people in the scene (basic background, describe their outsides, describe their insides)

PART TWO: Relate the SAME scene using the point of view of your PRESENT self (the Voice of Experience):

Use past tense (“I walked into the dining hall and didn't know where to sit.”)
Use all your present knowledge and perspective about what happened then and how you feel about it now. Think about how that past self is different from your present self.
Include some reflection and interpretation of the event: what do you think and feel about the event now?
Point out how you are different from that younger self AND how you are the same.
Also try to

Use precision (sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, names)
Use effective characterization for any people in the scene (basic background, describe their outsides, describe their insides.

HOMEWORK B: Thinking about audience.

Let’s assume you are writing your memoir NOT just for your friends and family but for a wider audience. Think about your ideal reader—the reader who would be most interested, who would learn the most, and who would want to talk about your book with other people. For now, just pick ONE and answer these questions.

Describe your ideal reader’s demographics, such as retired military men, low-income mothers of young children, fans of horror movies, residents of California, etc.
What does your ideal reader care about (list as many things as you can)?
What does your ideal reader NOT care about (list as many things as you can)?
Tell me what your ideal reader wants to get out of reading your memoir. It can be anything related to what you want to write —to be inspired to create art, to learn about someone who’s survived cancer, to get a better ideas of what marriage is like, etc. But just pick ONE.

Week Two

Writing About People (Characterization)

General things to keep in mind:

Sarah Chauncey: In memoir, “your ‘characters’ are real people. This is both an advantage and a disadvantage over fiction: You can’t invent details, but you have real-world experience with the person, so it’s a matter of capturing their distinctive traits and evoking them accurately—or at least, accurately according to your perception …We want to “see who people are, not only in relation to you, but as independent beings.” https://sarahchauncey.substack.com/p/characterization-real-people
As with everything in a memoir, you’re writing about what happened then from the perspective of now. Reflect on how your perceptions about someone may have evolved—sharpened, deepened, radically altered, etc.—and consider including that sense of change.
Your people might not actually all be people, such as your family dog!

Some basic tools

identify your person and provide relevant background —who are they in the world? Who are they to you?
Write about their outside—concrete, observable traits—how they are physically in the world:
- Appearance via all five senses—what they look/sound/smell/feel/taste like, as relevant
- Action—what they do: this could be recurring like the way they walk or how they always whistle when thinking hard as well as the one-time, like that they said nothing and looked at the ceiling after you revealed you loved them or that they held your hand when you said your cat died.
- Speech —what they say and how they say it.
- Note: When drafting, get down what you can, as much as you can. And when you look back over it and start revising, consider what you can add onto and what you may not need:
  - Use precision—sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, names
  - Go for relevant details: what is most revealing, memorable, and/or significant about the person?
Write about their insides—the stuff you can surmise, the abstract—your analysis of them:
- Reveal their personality: how would you describe them to a friend?
- Think about how they’re complex: Good and bad qualities. Flaws. Strengths. Times they’ve surprised you. Times they’ve behaved exactly as you expected.
- Explain their desires: what they want, what matters to them, what drives them.
- How have they changed over time? Why? How has your relationship with them changed? Why?
- What makes them cry? Laugh? Get Angry? Get scared?

Strategies for Delivering Your Characterization

The overview (typical, traits that are always there)
The occasion/specific events/scene

For important characters, you’ll probably end up using both strategies.

See my handout on Crying in H-Mart for good examples of each.

What Will They Say If I Write About Them?

According to Mary Karr in The Art of Memoir and Melissa Febos in Body Work,

Avoid writing about people you despise/don’t be mean just because you can be
Write it before you worry about what anyone will
Write and revise before you show anyone what you write about them
Share with subjects before you publish if you have any concerns or want their response
People will behave how they always behave

Writing Exercise One

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder

1) Think of someone who will be in your memoir.

2) Give us an overview by making a list of some of their characteristics. Be as precise as you can (sensory details, verbs, nouns, names). You might include:

Some brief background on who they are and your relationship with them.
What they looked like
What did they sound like—when speaking, laughing, singing, yelling, etc.
What they smelled like
What their style of dress was—did they wear any typical or distinctive items of clothing?
How they moved—how they stood, walked, sat, etc.
Anything they often said or topics they often brought up.
What they wanted—what mattered to them—what drove them.
What made them happy, scared, sad, angry etc.

3) Now give us a specific occasion: think of a significant interaction you had with this person. Describe it & be as precise as you can (sensory details, verbs, nouns, names). You might include:

Where and when you were
What each of you did
What each of you said
What you thought about them
What you felt about them
Why this interaction was significant

Some Memory Strategies

Shift your point of view
Talk to the other people involved (AFTER you’ve written your own version)
Old photos and videos
Visit sensory-rich locations from your past (or similar locations) such as a library, a hospital, a school bus, the backstage of a theater, a gym, etc.
Evoke sense memories by cooking a dish your grandmother made, buying the perfume your best friend wore, finding childhood toys for sale online, visiting a garden with the vegetables your father grew, etc.
Look at yearbooks and other keepsakes
Read old letters and journals
Return to your past via pop culture (searching by a given year for popular songs, fashion trends, prime time TV schedules, cult movies, best-selling books, alt-periodicals, commercials, college fads, vintage toys, and more
Find old issues of magazine and newspapers online—even just to look at what people were wearing at the time
Visit onthisday.com or thepeoplehistory.com to see what world events were going on
Spend time with your memory and write about it!

Optional Homework for Next Time

See “Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)” below if you need a reminder

One: write more about people

1. Pick an age at random.

2. Think about who was the most influential person in your life at that time who was NOT a direct family member.

3. Write about a significant interaction you had with this person. Narrate the scene as thoroughly as you can & be as precise as you can (sensory details, verbs, nouns, names). Make sure you include some dialogue, as best you can remember it.

4. Now explain how this event reveals some typical traits of that person and your relationship with them.

Two: Memory Work

1) Think of an event that you’d like to include in your memoir.

2) Pick two of the memory strategies above and do them for the event.

3) Write about the event incorporating what you learned from the memory strategies. Try to write with precision and, if writing about a person, use some of the Writing about People tools.

Week One

See my home page for Four Reasons You Should Write Your Memoir

Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)

When responding to a writing prompt, you’re looking for what inspires you. You don’t have to cover everything in the prompt. If an exercise takes you in a different direction, that’s fine too. It is simply a way to start walking through those rooms of your memory.

You can write the way you talk. Don’t worry about grammar or fancy words or even spelling.
Try to get as much down as you can when doing a writing exercise. If you get stuck, look at the prompt again and start it with a new subject if you want.
Don’t revise or edit while you draft. Just keep going.
Your draft doesn’t need to be shaped or complete—it might start as a list or as fragments.
Try to be honest—don’t try to make yourself look good or make things more exciting: you’ll get more out of it, as will readers. If you’re worried about what you are revealing, remember you’re never required to show anyone what you’re writing.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don’t doubt yourself as you write: Don’t worry that what you’re writing is boring or not worth writing or poorly written—if you want to write it, it’s worth writing.

Writing Exercise One (adapted from Lois Daniels’s How to Write Your Own Life Story)

Think of a toy or game you remember from your childhood.
Describe it
If you can remember, tell us about a particular time with this toy. Otherwise, tell us what you usually did with it.
Tell us where it came from—did someone give it to you? Did you find it? Buy it? Inherit it? Create it?
Tell us why it matters to you—why do you think you still remember it?

Writing with Precision

Writing with precision means using specific details and words that make your story YOUR PARTICULAR story and help the story come to life. Plus, the more you try to call up specifics from your memory, the more you may be able to remember! Here are four strategies for writing with precision:

Include as many sensory details as you can. What did you see? Hear? Smell? Touch? Taste?
Include strong, specific verbs to list what actions you and the other people are performing. For instance, did you throw the shoe across the room or did you sling it? Heave it? Wing it? Chuck it?
Use specific nouns to the people, places, and things in the memory.
Give proper names to anything you can—the game being played, the song being played, the meal being eaten, the store you shopped in, etc.

Here’s an example of precise writing from Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House:

[The gym teacher,] Ms. Lily, wore baggy athletic pants with patches of neon greens and purples in abstract, eye-searing patterns. (When I learned the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors in Sunday School, all I could think of was Ms. Lily’s outfit.) The synthetic fabric hissed when she walked; you could always hear her coming …

… Sitting in the grass during those baseball games, I’d rip up all the weeds within my reach, leaving my hands smelling like dirt and wild onions. I broke dandelions and marveled at their sticky white milk.

Writing Exercise Two

Describe a time you spent at a pool or a beach, at a parade, in a field, at a festival, or on a city street.
Use as much precision as you can by including
- Sensory details (Describe what you saw, heard, smelled, touched, and tasted.)
- Strong, specific verbs to describe the actions in your memory
- Specific nouns to identify the people, places, and things in your memory
- Proper names for whatever you can (the name of the person, the song, the ice cream flavor, the bicycle brand, etc.)

Optional Homework for Next Time

A) Develop a strong memory.

Pick a short, contained event from your life (if you know your memoir topic, pick one that relates to it) that you remember very well—it could be a big and important moment or it could be something ordinary, as long as you remember it well. It could have lasted a few moments or a couple hours.
First, explain what happened in this event (Example: We were having a picnic lunch in kindergarten. I was sitting under a tree with some of my friends. One girl, Jodi, went to ask the teacher a question. Another girl, Colleen, pointed to Jodi’s cookie and asked, “Can I have your cookie?” I thought she knew it was Jodi’s and was joking with me, so I said, “Sure!” But then Colleen picked up the cookie and actually took a bite, so I had to explain it was really Jodi’s cookie, and I felt awful.)
Now go back and revise your explanation by adding as much precision as you can. Include
- Sensory details (Describe what you saw, heard, smelled, touched, and tasted.)
- Strong, specific verbs to describe the actions in your memory
- Specific nouns to identify the people, places, and things in your memory
- Proper names for whatever you can (the name of the person, the song, the ice cream flavor, the bicycle brand, etc.)

B) Develop a weak memory.

Now pick a short, contained event from your life (if you know your memoir topic, pick one that relates to it) that you want to write about but that you don’t remember as well as you’d like.
First, explain what happened in this event (see example in above exercise).
Now go back and revise your explanation by adding as much precision as you can. Include
- Sensory details (Describe what you saw, heard, smelled, touched, and tasted.)
- Strong, specific verbs to describe the actions in your memory
- Specific nouns to identify the people, places, and things in your memory
- Proper names for whatever you can (the name of the person, the song, the ice cream flavor, the bicycle brand, etc.)
Did trying to write it with precision help you develop the weak memory? If so, how? If not, what do you think you could you do to either remember more or research details about it?

Syllabus

March 12, 19, 26 and April 2, 9, 16, 3:30-5:00

Taught by Erika Solberg

Basic overview

Description: Have you ever wanted to tell your life story but weren’t sure how to start? In this class we will discuss how to gather your memories, choose your audience, structure your story, and use such tools as dialogue and description to write a memoir that is readable and evocative. We will do a lot of writing exercises in class, share our ideas and drafts with each other, and talk about examples of good memoirs. No previous writing experience necessary.

Materials:

Necessary: A laptop and/or paper notebook in which to write during class and on your own.
Suggested: A print or online dictionary, thesaurus, and grammar manual. Reliable and free online resources include merriam-webster.com (dictionary and thesaurus) and Purdue OWL (grammar and mechanics and other general writing help).

Course Objectives:

To understand what a memoir is and why you should write one.
To learn how to create a focus and theme and choose an audience.
To learn basic craft tools of nonfiction such as sensory detail, scene, dialogue, voice, figurative language, and style.
To learn how to incorporate both life story and interpretation of story.
To think about such issues as memory, honesty, subjectivity, and intent.
To learn about revision and editing.
To develop confidence as a writer.
To learn the different paths to finishing and informally or formally publishing your memoir.

Additional Course policies and information:

Communication and cancellations:

Apart from our regular sessions, the best way to communicate with me is via email, but you can text or call me if your message is time-sensitive. Please check your email regularly for messages from me.
If I need to cancel a session, I will let you know as soon as possible.
If you cannot attend a session, please let me know ahead of time if you can or as soon as you can afterwards, and I will email you a brief summary of what you missed.

Tentative Course Plan

WEEK ONE: Getting Started: What is memoir and why write it, memory exercises, and writing with precision

WEEK TWO: Developing Skills: Developing your memory and writing about people

WEEK THREE: Authenticity: Voice, point of view, and truth

WEEK FOUR: Finding a Focus: Audience, purpose, and theme

WEEK FIVE: Shaping Your Story: Outlining and plot

WEEK SIX: Next Steps: Finishing, revising, editing, and publishing

“None of us can ever know the value of our lives, or how our separate and silent scribbling may add to the amenity of the world, if only by how radically it changes us, one and by one.”
― Mary Karr, The Art of Memoir

Resources for SLL Class on Memoir WritingWinter/Spring 2024

Week Six (April 16)

Recommended Reading

Week Five (April 9)

Week Four (April 2)

Week Three

Week Two

Week One

Tips when doing writing exercises (or drafting)

Syllabus

Resources for SLL Class on Memoir Writing
Winter/Spring 2024