Tips for Writing Memoir

My Clients’ and Students’ Five Favorite Tips for Writing Memoir

These ideas go beyond the basics (like using vivid language and being honest) to help you improve your memory and your writing.

1)The more you write, the more you write.

This truism is particularly apt for memoir because the more you develop your ideas, the more you can remember. If you push yourself to include more precise details, play with point of view, develop characterization, etc. you’ll give yourself more opportunities to inhabit a memory and may recall more than you thought you could.

2) Shift your point of view to look at memories from new angles.

Try writing about a memory from the perspective of the past you—the one who was living it—and then write about the same memory a second time from the perspective of the present you—the one looking back. Concentrating on your perspective will make you aware of how changing emotional, temporal, and intellectual distances affect your story. Shifting point of view can also help you capture new details and think differently about an event. Note: If you find this exercise tricky, try using present tense when writing from the perspective of your past self and third-person when writing from the perspective of your present self.

3) Old photos aren’t the only way to stimulate your memory.

Try seeking out sensory-rich locations from your past—or ones similar to the originals—such as a library, a hospital, a school bus, the backstage of a theater, or a gym. Evoke sense memories by cooking a dish your grandmother made, buying the perfume your best friend wore, finding childhood toys for sale online, or visiting a garden with the vegetables your father grew.

4) Return to your past via pop culture.

The internet lets you access the pop culture of the past. Searching by a given year for popular songs, fashion trends, prime time TV schedules, cult movies, best-selling books, alt-periodicals, commercials, newspaper headlines, college fads, vintage toys, forgotten world events, and more. The info, photos, recordings, and videos can open up your memory and help you situate your story in what was going at the time.

5) Make a plan for finishing

Write an action plan for finishing the draft of your memoir so you can maintain your energy and celebrate your progress. Consider issues like when and where you’ll write, how you’ll get support and feedback, where writing your memoir fits in with other priorities, and how much emotional and intellectual energy you’ll need. If you consider the obstacles and assets beforehand, you’ll be in a better position to get your draft done.

Special Tips for First Drafts

• When drafting on any topic, whether one you’ve assigned yourself or one you’ve taken from a writing prompt, look for what sparks and inspires you. You don’t have to cover everything. If a topic or prompt takes you in a different direction than you expected, that’s fine. Your only goal is to start walking through the rooms of your memory.

• You can write the way you talk. Don’t worry about grammar or fancy words or even spelling. Your voice will establish itself over time.

• Try to get as much down as you can. If you get stuck, look at the topic or prompt again and start over in a new direction.

• Don’t revise or edit while you draft. Just keep going.

• Your draft doesn’t need to be shaped or complete—it might start as a bulleted list or as a series of fragments. You can figure out structure and connections later.

• Try to be honest—don’t try to make yourself look good or make events more exciting. If you aren’t sure what happened, say so, and write what you think happened. List all your doubts as well as what you know is true. If you’re worried about what you are revealing as you write, remember you’re never required to show anyone what you’re writing.

• MOST IMPORTANT: Don’t doubt yourself as you write: Don’t worry that what you’re writing is boring or not worth writing or poorly written—if you want to write it, it’s worth writing. You can revise as much as you want later.

Tips for Sparking Your Memory

When you are struggling to develop a particular memory, these steps can help you access it.

• Look through photos and watch videos, especially ones you haven’t looked at in years.

• Talk to family members or friends or anyone involved. Ask open-ended instead of specific questions. DON’T argue about who’s right if your details differ.

• Go through yearbooks or other keepsakes. Touch and smell any objects you can.

• Look online for newspapers or magazines published at the time (it can be useful just to look at what people were wearing!). See what current events and pop culture artifacts you’ve forgotten.

• Look online for lists of popular songs of the time and then listen to them.

• Read through letters, diaries, or journals—ones you wrote or any you have access to.

• Go to the location where the memory took place, even if it’s changed—if you can’t actually go there, look for photos of it, or go to a similar place that might look, smell, or sound the same.

• Look through recipes or cookbooks used at that time—you can even google for images of old menus from a favorite chain restaurant. Make some of those recipes if you can.

• Look up what was on TV at that time (google “United States network television schedule” and the year you’re looking for). Watch an episode of a favorite show that you’d forgotten about.

• Look up what the popular movies were for that time and watch one. Remember when and where you saw it the first time. Who were you with? What snacks did you eat? Why did you choose to see it?

• Go to onthisday.com or thepeoplehistory.com and put in a date you’re interested in. Did any of these events affect you?