Community Ed Write Your Memoir

Community Education Class Resources

Syllabus

Bowling Green-Warren County Community Education: Write Your Memoir

October 9, 16, 23, 30 and November 6, 13

Taught by Erika Solberg

Basic overview

Description: Have you ever wanted to tell your life story but weren’t sure how to start? In this class we will discuss how to gather your memories, choose your audience, structure your story, and use such tools as dialogue and description to write a memoir that is readable and evocative. We will do a lot of writing exercises in class, share our ideas and drafts with each other, and talk about examples of good memoirs. No previous writing experience necessary.

Suggested Materials:

A laptop and/or paper notebook in which to write during class and on your own.
A print or online dictionary, thesaurus, and grammar manual. Reliable and free online resources include merriam-webster.com (dictionary and thesaurus) and Purdue OWL, (grammar and mechanics and other general writing help).

Course Objectives:

To understand what a memoir is and why you should write one.
To learn how to create a focus and theme and choose an audience.
To learn basic craft tools of nonfiction such as sensory detail, scene, dialogue, voice, figurative language, and style.
To learn how to incorporate both life story and interpretation of story.
To think about such issues as memory, honesty, subjectivity, and intent.
To learn about revision and editing.
To develop confidence as a writer.
To learn the different paths to finishing and informally or formally publishing your memoir.

Additional Course policies and information:

Communication and cancellations:

Apart from our regular sessions, the best way to communicate with me is via email, but you can text or call me if your message is time-sensitive. Please check your email regularly for messages from me.
If I need to cancel a session, I will let you know as soon as possible.
If you cannot attend a session, please let me know ahead of time if you can or as soon as you can afterwards, and I will email you a brief summary of what you missed.

What you can expect from me:

I will respond to your work thoughtfully and professionally. My responses will mostly be delivered orally in class with some written comments if appropriate.
I will be your supporter and cheerleader, but I will also be honest about your skills, the quality of your writing, and what I think you can achieve.
I will create an environment that encourages useful criticism and feedback from your peers.
I will take you and your work seriously but will always look for the joy and fun in writing.

What I will expect from you:

You will ask questions when you have them.
You will receive any feedback with an open mind and strive to understand that writing is a process and that criticism or suggestions come with the belief that you are capable of improving your work.
You will try to give fellow students feedback that is useful.
You will strive to take your work seriously but will always look for the joy and fun in writing.

Very Tentative Course Plan

WEEK ONE: Getting started

What is memoir and why write it

Memory exercises

Using specifics and details

WEEK TWO: Finding a focus

Writing about people

Dialogue

WEEK THREE: Developing your story

Focus, audience, purpose, and theme

Outlining and plot

WEEK FOUR: Developing your perspective

Figurative language

Setting

Voice and point of view

WEEK FIVE: Finishing and revision

Style

Rethinking your plan

Giving feedback

WEEK SIX: Editing and next steps

Editing

Finding more help

Publishing?

“None of us can ever know the value of our lives, or how our separate and silent scribbling may add to the amenity of the world, if only by how radically it changes us, one and by one.”
― Mary Karr, The Art of Memoir

General Tips

Tips when doing writing exercises or when drafting

When responding to a writing prompt, you’re looking for what inspires you. You don’t have to cover everything in the prompt. If an exercise takes you in a different direction, that’s fine too. It is simply a way to start walking through those rooms of your memory.
You can write the way you talk. Don’t worry about grammar or fancy words or even spelling.
Try to get as much down as you can when doing a writing exercise. If you get stuck, look at the prompt again and start it with a new subject if you want.
Don’t revise or edit while you draft. Just keep going.
Your draft doesn’t need to be shaped or complete—it might start as a list or as fragments
Try to be honest—don’t try to make yourself look good or make things more exciting: you’ll get more out of it, as will readers. If you’re worried about what you are revealing, remember you’re never required to show anyone what you’re writing.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don’t doubt yourself as you write: Don’t worry that what you’re writing is boring or not worth writing or poorly written—if you want to write it, it’s worth writing.

Memory Tips

If you need help getting ideas or need your memory of an event jogged, try these activities:

look through photos and watch videos
talk to family members or friends or anyone involved
go through yearbooks or other keepsakes
look online for newspapers or magazines published at the time (it can be useful just to look at what people were wearing!)
look online for lists of popular songs of the time and then listen to them
read through letters, diaries, or journals
go to the location where the memory took place, even if it’s changed—if you can’t actually go there, look for photos of it
look through recipes or cookbooks used at that time—you can even google for images of old menus from a favorite chain restaurant
look up what was on tv at that time (google “United States network television schedule” and the year you’re looking for)
look up what the popular movies were for that time
go to onthisday.com or thepeoplehistory.com and put in a date you’re interested in

Week One

Writing Exercises We Did

1A: Give us a memory of the color red. Do not use the word red but use words that evoke the color red when you hear them, such as a ruby, a tomato, fire, blood. (Adapted from Natalie Goldberg’s An Old Friend from Far Away)

1B: Give me a memory of a loud sound. Don’t use the word “sound” in the memory. (Adapted from Natalie Goldberg’s An Old Friend from Far Away)

2A: Tell me everything you can about elementary school recess. (Adapted from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird.)

2B: Describe all you can about the kid you remember best from middle school—they may have been your best friend or someone you knew from afar.

3: Describe a time you spent at a pool, at a parade, in a field, or on a city street.

What did you see? Hear? Smell? Touch? Taste? List as many as you can for each sense.
What actions are you and the other people performing? Use present tense: I dive, he struts, etc.
List every person, place, and thing present.
Give names to anything you can. The game being played, the song being played, the dessert being eaten, etc.

Optional ”homework” to do before our next class

One: Brainstorm possible topics for your memoir:

List any age ranges you’d like to write about, such as childhood, pre-adolescence, the year you turned 30, middle age, retirement, etc.
List any significant period/stages in your life you’d like to write about, such as your time in the Navy, the three months you lived in Costa Rica, when you worked as a clown, your years as an alcoholic, the first year of your marriage, training a hawk after you father died, etc.
List any topics you’d like to base your memoir around, such as the role of music in my life, various forms education has taken in my life, my interactions with prejudice, the animals I have known, my spiritual journey, etc.
Look over your list and select the five that most appeal to you right now.

Two: Develop a strong memory.

Pick a short, contained event from your life that you remember very well—it could be a big and important moment or it could be something ordinary, as long as you remember it well. It could have lasted a few moments or a couple hours.
First, explain what happened in this event (Example: We were having a picnic lunch in kindergarten. I was sitting under a tree with some of my friends. One girl, Jodi, went to ask the teacher a question. Another girl, Colleen, pointed to Jodi’s cookie and asked, “Can I have your cookie?” I thought she knew it was Jodi’s and was joking with me, so I said, “Sure!” But then Colleen picked up the cookie and actually took a bite, so I had to explain it was really Jodi’s cookie, and I felt awful.)
Second, use the specifics we talked about in class to develop the memory:
A) List as many sensory details as you can. What did you see? Hear? Smell? Touch? Taste?
B) Use some strong verbs and list what actions you and the other people are performing.
C) Use specific nouns: list every person, place, and thing present.
D) Give names to anything you can—the game being played, the song being played, the meal being eaten, etc.

Three: Develop a weak memory.

Now do the same exercise for an event you want to remember well but don’t (or don’t think you do). See if trying to list specifics helps the memory become clearer. If it doesn’t, what could you do to either remember more or discover details about it? (See suggestions above.)

Four: Bring in a memoir you like to class and choose a paragraph or two to share with us.

Week Two

Sensory details example

From Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House:

[The gym teacher,] Ms. Lily, wore baggy athletic pants with patches of neon greens and purples in abstract, eye-searing patterns. (When I learned the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors in Sunday School, all I could think of was Ms. Lily’s outfit.) The synthetic fabric hissed when she walked; you could always hear her coming …

… Sitting in the grass during those baseball games, I’d rip up all the weeds within my reach, leaving my hands smelling like dirt and wild onions. I broke dandelions and marveled at their sticky white milk. (12)

Writing Exercises We Did

Exercise on People

1. Think of someone who will appear in your memoir.

2. Think first in terms of giving an overview of this person.

a. List eight physical characteristics: How they appear (use as many senses as you can)

b. List three examples of what they tend to think/believe

c. List three examples of actions they usually do

d. List five details from their background

e. List one way in which they are complex—two traits that contradict each other

f. In general, what do they want—what matters to them?

g. In what ways has your relationship with them changed over time?

3. Now think in terms of a specific occasion involving this person and relate it to us. Include:

a. Appearance—what they look/sound/smell/feel/taste like

b. Action—what they do

c. Speech —what they say

d. Precision: moments in your writing where you include sensory details, strong verbs, specific nouns, and proper nouns

Exercise with dialogue (adapted from SarahChauncey.com)

1. Think of a significant conversation you had with someone that you might include in your memoir and list the following:

a. Some of the key words or phrases you and they said.

b. Any hand gestures they used, any eye movement, any mouth movement, how they stood or sat, how their voice sounded, and any thing esle memorable about their phsyical presence.

c. Anything notable about where and when the conversation took place.

d. Anything memorable either of you did while speaking such as storm out, check their phone, cry, eat a taco, etc.

2. Now write the scene with lots of dialogue. Include stage directions ( actions and gestures) and any other relevant details.

Optional ”homework” to do before our next class

!. Do the Exercise with Dialogue listed above, but do it for a conversation with more than two people.

2. Think of a person from your memoir who changed over the years. Answer the following questions TWICE—first for how they used to be, and then second for how they became.

a. List six physical characteristics: How they appear (use as many senses as you can)

b. List three examples of what they tend to think/believe

c. List three examples of memorable choices they made (big or small)

d. In general, what do they want—what matters to them?

e. Write a short scene that illustrates your relationship with them.

3. Thinking about audience.

Let’s assume you are writing your memoir not just for your friends and family but for a wider audience. Think about your ideal reader—the reader who would be most interested, who would learn the most, and who would want to talk about your book with other people. For now, just pick ONE and answer these questions.

Describe your ideal reader’s demographics, such as retired military men, low-income mothers of young children, fans of horror movies, residents of California, etc.
What does your ideal reader care about (list as many things as you can)?
What does your ideal reader NOT care about (list as many things as you can)?
Tell me what your ideal reader wants to get out of reading your memoir. It can be anything related to what you want to write —to be inspired to create art, to learn about someone who’s survived cancer, to get a better ideas of what marriage is like, etc. But just pick ONE.

4. Bring in a memoir you like to class and choose a paragraph or two to share with us.

Week Three

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Dialogue formatting

This webpage has an excellent summary on how to format dialogue: firstmanuscript.com/format-dialogue

And don’t forget that one of the best ways to get the feel for it is to look at a book with dialogue.

Purpose: Why are you writing this story? Possibilities include:

To inform
To record
To entertain
To set the record straight
To reveal a truth to others
To make sure something isn’t forgotten
To explain—how something worked, what something was like, why it happened the way it did
To illustrate a topic

Marion Roach Smith Quotes (marionroach.com/twenty-top-tips-for-writing-memoir)

“All non-fiction is an argument. So what are you arguing? Are you arguing that those onion-skin layers of grief provide cumulative knowledge on how to move forward with loss, but that rushing things will only stop that precious process? Are you arguing that learning not to cling to joy is the only way to appreciate it? What are you arguing? Are you arguing that life is hard unless you have a good cat to love?”

“MEMOIR REQUIRES TRANSCENDENCE. Something has to happen. Or shift. Or merely move. Someone has to change a little. Or grow. It’s the bare hack minimum of memoir. But don’t confuse transcendence with spiritual awakening or conversion. We’re not asking that much of you, particularly in short memoir. We just want to see something happen. And we deserve it, we the reader. We do.”

What is your memoir about—that is, what is its main point? (thesis, core point, spine, thesis, etc.)?

Boil it down to one sentence—a complete thought—an independent clause.

“Friendship” = a topic.

“The different friendships I’ve had over the years” = a topic

“Good friends are hard to find but provide the real value in life” = a main point.

Ways to look at/come at this concept

Think of it as a theme: a unifying statement about the topic. All the elements in your memoir will tie back to your theme.
Think of it as a core point—the hub of the wagon wheel. All spokes in the story connect back to the hub and they all work together to propel the memoir forward.
Think of it as the central revelation that changes you?
Think of it as the spine of the memoir’s skeleton/the trunk of the memoir’s tree/the memoir’s through-line.
Think of it as the thesis of your argument: what your story proves.
Think of it using this formula: My memoir is about X as illustrated by Y, where X is the main point and Y is the topic. (Thanks to Marion Roach Smith)

Examples from Goldilocks, whose topic is the time she went to the Three Bears’ house:

You have to determine what makes you happy before you can be a true friend to others,
Surviving a deadly encounter comes down to preparation, imagination, and desperation.
Never settle for the mediocre when perfection is within reach.
Life is best lived in the middle, not at the extremes.

Note: you will likely revise and refine your main point as you draft, and that’s okay!

Structuring your memoir

The difficulty in teaching structure is that form and function are inextricable. There are formulas you can study, patterns you can observe, and theories you can apply. But your story needs to be told in the way your story needs to be told, and the way your story is told determines what the story is.

Here are some structures to consider. I REVISED WHAT I COVERED IN CLASS—THIS SHOULD BE MORE HELPFUL!

Traditional essay form: You structure the material like an argument (but it’s still a memoir)

Intro with your thesis
Main point one with supporting material
Main point two with supporting material
Main point three with supporting material
Main point four with supporting material
Main point five with supporting material
Etc.
Conclusion with a complication of the thesis

Plot: You structure the material like a fictional story

Aristotelian plot structure: conflict, rising action/complication, climax (point of highest tension), resolution, falling action
A pattern of connection and disconnection
Hero’s journey: protagonist has a goal and quests to achieve it with growth along the way
Negotiating with power: the character repeatedly accepts or rejects the conditions and consequences of their world (from Matthew Salesses’ Craft in the Real World)
Quilt: fragments are fitted together
Many more possibilities here … Google “alternative plot structures”

Chronological: (may overlap with Plot) You structure the material by where it occurs in time

Linear: start at the oldest event and end with the most recent
Modified linear: using various techniques such as time compression (cover a long period of time quickly), time stretching (slowly cover a short period of time), flashbacks, and flash forwards, you always give the reader a sense of where they are chronologically but guide them through using a rationale that isn’t “start at the oldest and finish at the most recent.”
Parallel stories: follow linear time for more than one central character, guiding us through their separate stories but keeping those timelines lined up.
Braided stories: follow more than one central character, guiding us through their separate stories but in timelines that don’t always line up and may be modified

Episodic: the material is broken up rather than uniformly connected

Thematic: Break the story into multiple pieces that are organized by topic; topical sections are not explicitly connected
Vignette: Break the material into multiple pieces that are not explicitly connected
Collage: Combine different modalities, forms, sources, and techniques

Optional “Homework”

1. Create an outline using the work you have done on topic, audience, and main point; and the ideas listed in structure.

The outline can be in any form that works for you. It can be as detailed or not detailed as you need it to be.

The two things it should cover:

What you want to include
The order in which you want the reader to read it

Your outline does not have to be in the order in which you will write it.

You may end up revising your outline later, and that’s okay.

2. Write the pages from your memoir that you are most inspired to write about right now.

Week Four

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Inspirational Words for the Week:

In 2015, I interviewed Mary Karr, the godmother of modern memoir, shortly after she had released The Art of Memoir. Just a couple weeks before our interview, she’d told Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air that she felt an obligation to defend the genre.

When I asked Karr why, she said, in her wry, hilarious way, that “it’s trashy, ghetto-ass primitive—anyone who’s lived can write one.” And she means these words, spoken in her East Texas accent, in the very best way: this is what makes the genre special to her.

— “Memoir, Uninterrupted” by Brooke Warner, Publishers Weekly Jan 02, 2020

Some thoughts on voice and persona

It may seem like voice must then be YOUR voice, but it's not quite that simple. Because you the writer, the living breathing person , is not the same as the you who is narrating—that you is a created thing—a thing that exists on the page. It comes from you, but which you? Who are you anyway?

Vivian Gornick talks about the narrator as a persona:

“The writing we call personal narrative is written by people who in essence, are imagining only themselves: in relation to the subject at hand. This connection is an intimate one; in fact it is critical. Out of the raw material of a writer’s own undisguised being a narrator is fashioned whose existence on the page is integral to the tale being told. This narrator becomes a persona. Its tone of voice, its angle of vision, the rhythm of its sentences, what it selects to observe and what to ignore are chosen to serve the subject; yet at the same time the way the narrator—or the persona—sees things is, to the largest degree, the thing being seen.” (6)

“A memoir is a work of sustained narrative prose controlled by an idea of the self under obligation to lift from the raw material of life a tale that will shape experience, transform event, deliver wisdom. Truth in a memoir is not achieved through a recital of actual events; it is achieved when the reader come to believe that the writer is working hard to engage with the experience at hand. What happened to the writer is not what matters; what matters is the large sense that the writer is able to make of what happened. For that the power of a writing imagination is required. As V.S. Pritchett once said of the genre, ‘It’s all in the art. You get no credit for living.’

“That idea of the self—the one that controls the memoir—is almost always served through a single piece of awareness that clarifies only slowly in the writer, gaining strength and definition as the narrative progresses. In a bad memoir, the line of clarification remains muddy, uncertain, indistinct. In a good one, it become the organizing principle—the thing that lends shape and texture to the writing, drives the narrative forward, provides direction and unity of purpose. The question clearly being asked in an exemplary memoir is “Who am I?” Who exactly is this “I” upon whom turns the significance of this story-taken-directly-from-life? On that question the writer of memoir must deliver. Not with an answer but a depth of inquiry.” (91-2)

Vivian Gornick, The Situation and the Story (New York: FSG, 2001)

A text’s voice can be lively, lyrical, sober, earnest, confidential ….

“In writing nonfiction, the voice is critical because the reader is asked to trust and believe that the material is true. The voice must be one of authority or at least be honest and believable.”

— Richard D. Bank

Voice, to me, must be more than authoritative. It must be revealing. It takes courage to write honestly and let your personality speak to the reader. Some authors do this naturally. I, on the other hand, struggle to let my writing persona out.

— Jane Blanchard

Exercise on Voice

Think of a short scene from your memoir—a specific event/occasion.
Relate this scene using the point of view of your past self, without any future knowledge of what was to come in your life or what you’d think about the event. Try to use
- sensory details
- strong verbs
- specific nouns
- good characterization of any people
- and maybe even some dialogue
Now write the scene again from the point of view of your present self. Include some reflection and interpretation of the event: what do you think and feel about the event now?

Link to style quiz

Voice of Innocence/Voice of Experience

We know that the author is in the present writing about past events. But sometimes the narrator erases that distance and tries to get as close up to the original events as possible. Thus the pov can shift in memoir as more than one distance gets used, and this tension, co-creation, contrast and harmony are some of the key pleasures and powers of memoir.

Sue Silverman’s Fearless Confessions calls them the Voice of Innocence and the Voice of Experience (from William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience)

The Voice of Innocence:

tells us what happened
It is the voice of who you were then
is still a crafted voice
“bring reader inside actual, tangible, imagistic moment”

The Voice of Experience:

interprets and reflects
is who you are now,
“transforms the lived moment,”
shows what you learned or at least what your thoughts are now about then

Homework

1. By noon on Friday, please send me up to 1,500 words (about five pages) of your memoir that you’d like to get some early feedback on. You may send it as a Word attachment, as a link to a Google doc, or in the body of the email. I will pass submissions on to the readers.

2. At the top of the excerpt, include

A. Who your imagined audience is (ideal reader).

B. Where this excerpt will come in your memoir (such as the first or third or last chapter, the section on a certain topic, etc.).

C. What the 3-5 main things are that you’d like to get out of the critique. Try to be more specific than “Do you like it?” or “Is it boring?” Examples:

—Does the explanation of my behavior make sense?

—Do I need more or less description?

—Is the dialogue working?

—What questions do you have after reading this?

—Is the person in this scene intriguing?

—How would you describe the voice?

—Are there any places where I need a more precise word?

3. By class time, please have your critique done using the instructions below.

4. In class, we will discuss your responses to each other’s work. You will use your annotations and written critique as a guide.

4. Goals of the critique:

A. to give you practice in reading a draft critically so you can read your own work effectively.

B. to provide you with some basic feedback on an early draft of your work.

C. for you to want to keep writing and have a better sense of what you want to do with that writing.

Please contact me with any questions or concerns!

Critiquing Instructions

DO THIS BEFORE OUR NEXT CLASS

Before you critique, read all the way through these guidelines.
Read through the piece you are critiquing once without making any comments – just read to get the general idea.
Read through the piece at least one more time and annotate as you go along. Write on the printout.
Mark places you like, don’t like, or have questions on.
Comment on the issues listed below or others that occur to you.
Correct any grammar or spelling and typographical errors you happen to find but don’t worry about them too much unless you are confused by what the writer is trying to say because of them.
Afterwards, write up a final commentary that gives an overall sense of your reaction to the piece, what its main strengths and weaknesses are, and any central revision suggestions. The commentary may be in the form of a paragraph or a list (or both). Try to be specific.
Bring the annotated printout of the piece and your write-up to class.

Critiquing Guidelines/Suggestions:
Here are some things to consider when reading and critiquing a memoir. You do not have to address all of these items – they are just to get you thinking

Does the writing use effective precision?

Sensory details: Are there good sensory details? Where would you like to see some added? Could any sensory details be made more specific?
Strong verbs: Are there ample strong verbs? Where would you like to see some added? Should any verbs be made stronger?
Specific nouns: Are there ample specific nouns? Where would you like to see some added? Should any nouns be made more specific?
Proper nouns: Are there proper nouns that add a sense of time, location, and culture? Where would you like to see some added?
Any other comments on making the writing more precise so that the writer’s story becomes more THEIR story?

Are people written effectively?

Does the writer include enough on the characters’ basic identities and backgrounds?
Does the writer use good descriptions of the appearance of characters? Where could they add more? What descriptions could be made more precise?
Does the writer use good descriptions of the actions of characters? Where could they add more? What descriptions could be made more precise?
Does the writer give you a good sense of the character’s inner life through their personality, desires, what’s important to them, contrasting traits, etc.? Where could they add more?
Do the details included feel relevant? Are there any details you don’t need or any characters you want to know more about?
Is there a good balance between overview and specific occasion? Do you want more of one or the other?

Is there effective dialogue?

Does the dialogue sound real without sounding like a transcription?
Does the dialogue reveal character and/or add to the drama of the story?
Are there any places where you’d like more or less dialogue?
Is any dialogue confusing?
Are there enough stage directions and action included with the dialogue?

Does it have a structure?

Does the piece give you a sense of where it’s going and take you along, or does it seem formless and wandering?
Would you say the piece seems organized as a plot, by topic, chronologically, or episodically? Is that organization effective? Why or why not?
Do you want more scenes? Do you want more summary/explanation?

Does it have an effective voice? (this also covers pov and style)

How would you describe the voice of the piece in terms of its personality?
Is the narrator strictly a Voice of Innocence, a Voice of Experience, or a combination? Does this choice work? Why or why not?
What are some things you notice about the style—are the sentences long or short, are the paragraphs long or short, is the diction simple or elevated, etc.? Is the style consistent?
Other:

Are there any confusing places?
Do you have a sense of what the theme of the memoir is?
What feels familiar in this piece—what can you relate to and recognize?
What feels unfamiliar in this piece—what is new and intriguing to you?
What holds you back in this piece?
What keeps you reading this piece and what do you hope the rest of the memoir will have?

Week Five

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Quick tip

If you’re struggling to write using your past-self perspective (Voice of Innocence) , try drafting the scene using PRESENT tense.

I’ll post the tips for finishing your draft next week when we finish going over them.

Homework

1. By five p.m. on Friday, please send me up to 1,000 words (about four pages) of a DIFFERENT section of your memoir that you’d like to get some early feedback on. It does not need to be 1,000 words: that’s just the max amount you can send. You may send it as a Word attachment, as a link to a Google doc, or in the body of the email. I will pass submissions on to the readers.

2. Follow the instructions above when submitting.

3. Follow the instructions above for critiquing.

Please contact me with any questions or concerns!

Week Six

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Finishing Your Draft

Here are some common obstacles writers face when trying to finish a draft—do any of these sound familiar?

Other priorities get in the way
You have an inner critic who tells you your writing isn’t good enough and no one will want to read it
You want your draft to be absolutely perfect and keep rewriting what you’ve drafted and get overwhelmed
You find reasons why you can’t write yet—you have to do more research, you have to wait until you have more energy, you need a bigger block of time, etc.
Writing is too lonely

Here are some common obstacles specific to drafting a memoir—do any of these sound familiar?

You feel like you don’t have enough info or strong enough memories
You don’t think you have enough to write about
You think your life story is too boring and ordinary
You don’t know what to include or where to start or stop your story
You worry you will hurt others’ feelings
You worry that your memory is not completely accurate
Possible solutions

There are possible solutions to all of these! Some suggestions:

Give yourself permission to prioritize and schedule your writing time
Read Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird—one of the best writing guides ever. She tackles the inner critic, perfectionism, and more.
Silence the inner critics by reminding yourself that your story is worth writing if you want to write it and that you will get better at writing by writing.
Set up an accountability group with others who are writing. You can cheer each other on over texts, meet together for writing time, set group goals, etc.
Set up a writing group with others who are writing: not only hold yourselves accountable, but share your work so writing doesn’t feel so lonely.
Give yourself a self-imposed deadline/goal, such as giving the memoir as a gift for someone’s birthday or graduation.
Take another workshop or class, in person on online
Work with a book coach (I discount my prices for BG area clients!)
Read memoirs and books on writing memoir to inspire you
Tell people what you’re doing and ask them to cheer you on—they will also likely tell you they can’t wait to read it!
Remind yourself you are only DRAFTING—you will revise later and improve your work, so you don’t need to get it all “right” the first time
Remind yourself that even if no one ever reads your draft, YOU will learn about yourself by writing it.
If you need to research a certain memory, find a better word, check a fact, etc. don’t stop writing: just make a note or write XXXXXX and keep going. You can fill in the gaps later.

How to Revise

Revision is about big-picture issues like improving the structure, developing your theme, cutting irrelevant sections, etc.

Step One: Set it aside. The longer the draft, the more time you should leave it alone so you can come to it with fresh eyes.

Step Two: Get targeted feedback. Ask someone to read the draft and critique it, but make sure you tell them what kind of feedback you want. You can also hire an editor (like me! to work with you.

Step Three: Read it all the way through WITHOUT making any changes.

Step Four: Revise in a series of passes where you target different issues, one at a time. For all of these, remember who your audience is. For example you may look at

structure
characterization
voice
precision
etc.

Step Five: Repeat all these steps until you are satisfied. Be patient and trust the creative process!

How To Edit

Editing is about small-picture issues like tightening sentences, focusing paragraphs, finding a better word, etc.

Step One: Set it aside. The longer the draft, the more time you should leave it alone so you can come to it with fresh eyes.

Step Two: Get targeted feedback. Ask someone to read the draft and mark any editing issues. You can also hire an editor (like me!) to work with you.

Step Three: Read it all the way through WITHOUT making any changes.

Step Four: Revise in a series of passes where you target different issues, one at a time. For all of these, remember who your audience is. For example you may look at

transitions
clarifying sentences
reducing repetition of certain words
reducing passive voice
etc.

Step Five: Repeat all these steps until you are satisfied. Be patient and trust the creative process!

Publishing

If your audience is friends and family: lowest cost. Options include

Website
print-out (packet)
digital file
self-publish, but at low end

If your audience is beyond friends and family: higher cost. Options include

Self-publish: you do all the work and they provide the platform
Hybrid: they do some of the production and/or marketing work as well as provide the platform

Notes:

More work by them = higher cost to you
Higher quality book = higher cost to you
Set a budget and do your research
Plan to work hard to market and sell your book if that’s a priority

If you want to work with a traditional publisher: they pay

You will likely want to work with a professional to get you book in its best shape
You will likely want to work with a professional to to write a book proposal and query letter
Submit to agents or indie presses
Plan to work hard to market and sell your book even with a traditional publisher

Links to helpful PDF on publishing options:

The Key Book Publishing Paths: 2023–2024 by Jane Friedman

Make Your Plan of Attack for Finishing Your Draft

First, answer some or all of these questions.

1. What is the math of your memoir?

How long will my book be?

How many hours a week will I work on it?

What is my deadline?

How many words per hour will I write?

If you know 3 out of 4 of these, you can fill in this formula and find the missing number!

Words per hour x weeks x hours per week = words in memoir

For example, say I know

I want to finish my draft by January 30. I’ll start November 27 but will take off a week at Thanksgiving and New Year’s. That’s nine weeks.
I average about 500 words per hour
I want my memoir to be about 30,000 words.

How many hours a week will I need to work?

500 words per hour x 9 weeks x hours per week = 30,000 words

or 4,500 x hours per week = 30,000 which (using algebra!) converts to

hours per week = 30,000 / 4,500

hours per week = 6.7

So I’d need to put in 6.7 hours a week for nine weeks, writing about 500 words per hour, to reach 30,000 words by January 30

2. When will I work on it?

3. Where will I work on it?

4. How will I get support (including accountability) and feedback?

5. Why am I writing this memoir?

6. What are the three to five top priorities in my life right now including writing my memoir?

7. How much time, money, and effort can I commit?

8. How much of an intellectual task will it be?

9. How much of an emotional task will it be?

Now write a how-to-finish-my-memoir guide for yourself.

Exercise: Childhood Toy or Game

Tell us about a toy or game you remember from your childhood.

Describe it
If you can, tell us about a particular time with this toy
Where did it come from?
What did you do with it?
Why did it matter to you?

Don’t forget to use precise language and consider point of view

Community Education Class Resources

Syllabus

Bowling Green-Warren County Community Education: Write Your Memoir

October 9, 16, 23, 30 and November 6, 13

Taught by Erika Solberg

Basic overview

Very Tentative Course Plan

WEEK ONE: Getting started

General Tips

Tips when doing writing exercises or when drafting

Memory Tips

Week One

Writing Exercises We Did

Optional ”homework” to do before our next class

Week Two

Writing Exercises We Did

Optional ”homework” to do before our next class

Week Three

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Optional “Homework”

Week Four

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Link to style quiz

Week Five

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Week Six

Concepts we covered/Exercises we did

Recommended Reading on Memoir